Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
