So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
