Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize