True but thats because hes a fetus.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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