i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
