I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize