Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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