why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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