why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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