just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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