so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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