so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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