you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
