I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Boobs speak an international language.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
