Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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