i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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