my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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