he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We need to rekindle our bromance
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
this is an emotional support booty call
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
