if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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