How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
