Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we're making bets on your personal life
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
