I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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