I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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