we have officially lost it.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
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I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
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You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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