: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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