Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have aggressive nipples.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
