Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
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