Just fell off a train. Bad.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
