I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize