Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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