I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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