it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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