i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
