Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
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i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
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you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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