True but thats because hes a fetus.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
