I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize