actually, I'm a sock model
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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