I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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