You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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