If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have demons in me.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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