I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize