No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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