Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
