Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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