I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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