I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
