rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
