Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize