Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
