i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
