just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
