talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
