I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
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you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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