i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
