I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
