Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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