And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
