When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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