5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize