Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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