i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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